Five years ago, when I was in Cambodia with Christopher Capuzzi (British, illiterate), and Danielle Petrilli (charming, good trip planner), I threw a bit of a hissy fit when they denied me my wish to climb a mountain on an elephant. Fearing the wrath of a Grumpy Gart, they quickly reversed course, and we rode the elephant. However, the truth is that the ride was pretty lame and tame.
Today was different.
Today, this happened:
That's me handfeeding a baby elephant, named Pacman
And this:
That's me and my pal, Pacman.
Pacman liked Erica too. So much that it made me make my first gif!
Then we met Big Joe, our elephant carrier. Erica and him got a little too intimate.
Erica and I then climbed aboard and rode the elephant through the jungle. This was awesome, exciting, and bumpy. We had a guide who sat on the elephants head while we sat on his back like Kings of Siam or western colonists. But then things got wild: the guide asked whether I would like to sit on the elephants head while it walked. I hesitated but then exclaimed, "Yes sir! I've never wanted anything more in all my days." The guide then leaped right off the elephant head and asked me to slide on down. So I did
There were a lot of cool events after this, and I tried out all my best poses.
The head scratcher.
The victory.
Downward facing elephant.
The Royal Wave
Swinging an imaginary lasso.
Along the way, our elephants got thirsty and hungry, so we stopped off at a watering hole and fed them some bananas.
That last shot--handfeeding an elephant while riding on its head--is pretty nuts. Let's also see it in video form.
And here's that shot from another angle.
Next, Erica and I switched places.
Unfortunately, most of the good pictures of Erica riding were not taken on the iPhone, so I can't share them yet. [editor: OR CAN I!]
Erica was a true natural riding Big Joe, second only to the Elephant Whisperer, David Gartenberg.
Look, ma, no hands!
Twins.
And here is Erica with Pacman. Btw, Pacman is a pseudonym that I made up. Anyone get the joke?
Lastly, here's another pretty funny video that captures the Elephant Experience:
My blogging app had saved Un unpublished post from FIVE YEARS AGO, when Andy Frolich, CJ Capuzzi and I spent a month in Buenos Aires. I felt like posting it. The pictures are kind of artsy, no?
Spoiler alert: We escaped Bangkok. That travel agent was not a fraud. We left Lamphu Tree and the feces canal early Tuesday morning and flew north to Chiang Mai, "The Jewel of the North" (a name I just made up).
A quick aside: the airports have weird food here. There are mainstays, like McDonald's and Starbucks, but with a Thai twist. Here are some examples
Dried durian chips
Seaweed Pringles!
McPorridge from McDonald's!
Dried fish!
Enough of that. Did you come here for airport blogging? No! On to Chiang Mai.
Chiang Mai is legit great. The air is cleaner, the streets are less crowded, and the canals are less fecal.
We are staying in the Old City, which warrants a comment, because it is cool. The old city is a square area surrounded by a moat and a wall (the wall has since fallen into disrepair, but it's still there).
The wall.
The Moat.
This moat-and-wall setup used to keep out invading Laotians, Khymers, Andals, and White Walkers; now it is just pretty, as everyone knows White Walkers are not real...
Our hotel here is called 3sis, which is kind of a spicy name. It's much nicer than Lamphu Tree, and the employees actually speak English!
We had a great lunch in the Old City at a place called Huen Phen.
Then we booked some adventures (we are on the way to one right now but I'll keep you in suspense as to which [it involves elephants]).
We then napped. And in the evening we had a great cooking class! It was led by this cool chick named Miw. The tour started with a trip to a less slummy market, which still had some choice selections.
That's Miw
Pink eggs
A pig head.
A crab.
Then Miw took us to her home and taught us how to make eight different things.
I even made an spring roll.
It was a lovely time. Thanks Miw!
Some of the cookers were from Montreal, but they didn't know my Canadian sister, Alyssa.
This post wasn't that funny, I guess. But it was more of a wholesome day. No bloody johns or slums or tuktuk abductions. Maybe the next post will be funnier. Hasta la vista, baby!
