Requisite sad faces. Not sure why it looks like I have an earring in.
- Posted by Gartagnon
Location:Express Rd,Newark,United States
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Final post
Requisite sad faces. Not sure why it looks like I have an earring in.
- Posted by Gartagnon
My police record
To add to my illustrious police record (poaching, trespassing on state lands), I was just detained by TSA agents in the Miami airport. Reason: throwing star in my carry on bag.
Yup.
Reason for that: Grace gave me awesome gifts from Japan, which I inadvertently traveled with - without actually investigating what was in the bag of souvenirs she gave me. One such souv was a throwing star.
Add "sneaking throwing star onto plane" to my list.
- Posted by Gartagnon
Yup.
Reason for that: Grace gave me awesome gifts from Japan, which I inadvertently traveled with - without actually investigating what was in the bag of souvenirs she gave me. One such souv was a throwing star.
Add "sneaking throwing star onto plane" to my list.
- Posted by Gartagnon
Location:Miad Cir,Miami,United States
Well the trips over!
Blogfail! We were too busy to blog. Also the Everglades does not have service. We are in Miami now (I'm about to eat a pulled pork omelette and will then die happy) and depart in a few hours to fly home. Here's a quick lowdown of some Notable Events:
1. Vultures ate all our food - comprising two coolers worth of grillable meat.
2. Steph relearned how to ride a bike.
3. We saw hundreds of gators and crocs.
4. We canoed for 9 miles through mangrove forests, culminating in a sighting of croczilla, a 14 foot long croc and our accidental collision w a gator (while in canoe).
5. We played a lot of games by headlamp and cooked dinner.
6. Took a sunset wildlife tour
7. Got sideswiped by a local in the Florida keys, followed by a 2.5 hour drive in a tow truck to Miami.
8. Drank Butterbeer
9. Ate Buckbeak
10. Made lots of fires.
- Posted by Gartagnon
1. Vultures ate all our food - comprising two coolers worth of grillable meat.
2. Steph relearned how to ride a bike.
3. We saw hundreds of gators and crocs.
4. We canoed for 9 miles through mangrove forests, culminating in a sighting of croczilla, a 14 foot long croc and our accidental collision w a gator (while in canoe).
5. We played a lot of games by headlamp and cooked dinner.
6. Took a sunset wildlife tour
7. Got sideswiped by a local in the Florida keys, followed by a 2.5 hour drive in a tow truck to Miami.
8. Drank Butterbeer
9. Ate Buckbeak
10. Made lots of fires.
- Posted by Gartagnon
Where have we been?
We've been in the wilderness! To no ones surprise, cell service is lacking among the crocodiles so we haven't been able to blog, or let our families know we weren't dead. Update: we're not. But here's a quick summary of what happened:
It was hot, crocs everywhere, saw croczilla (14ft croc), pissed off a gator in the water, tented, camped, drank, ate, got completely robbed by vultures, went to Miami, attempted to rage , sort of failed, never drink LITs ever again, fought with promoter (see image and footnote below), hung out on neighbors balcony, eating breakfast. That's all!
Update: didn't meet half of lmfao as promised, tried to charge Dave $10 more than discussed. Fighting ensued, I got my way.
- Posted by the Keys Master.
It was hot, crocs everywhere, saw croczilla (14ft croc), pissed off a gator in the water, tented, camped, drank, ate, got completely robbed by vultures, went to Miami, attempted to rage , sort of failed, never drink LITs ever again, fought with promoter (see image and footnote below), hung out on neighbors balcony, eating breakfast. That's all!
Update: didn't meet half of lmfao as promised, tried to charge Dave $10 more than discussed. Fighting ensued, I got my way.
- Posted by the Keys Master.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
Hi Level Lounge
Sorry for not posting much, folks. I've been busy driving - hope the Keysmaster has been entertaining you.
Speaking of Mz. Keys (code name alert), one of her RTR's* was to visit a "local watering hole," i.e., a bar in a tiny town, a.k.a. the High Level Lounge in Palatka, Florida, population 9,800, home of Georgia Pacific Power Plant, and the smell of pollution.
Anyway. We were looking on yelp for the perfect spot when Keysmaster stumbled upon this descriptive gem:
As huge homophobic, racist rednecks ourselves, we thought we'd fit right in. We were right. We walked in to a bar filled with five folks aged between 33 and 75, all of whom were COMPLETELY hammered. It was sad and sort of interesting. The drunkest was probably this bearded silver-haired fella with a cowboy hat on (which he called his crown) in his late 60s. As we walked in, he informed us "yaaaaw ttooo schlaaaate," which is alcoholic for "hi guys!" Over the next hour, these five folks experimented with many different couplings, including negotiations (none of which, thankfully, involving us) regarding lesbianing, threesoming, and rampant infidelity. Also, they repeatedly commented on my white teeth and informed Steph that Umass is not in New York, to her surprise.
All in all, it was a dark evening.
* road trip requests
- Posted by Gartagnon
Location:N Bay St,Eustis,United States
Sunday, December 18, 2011
The Night Steve Jobs' Ghost Haunted Us
Tonight, we let the iPhone guide us in our driving. The plan was to chose a town halfway between savannah, ga and Orlando, fl and stop at a local watering hole for the night rather than driving into the wee hours. And so, we chose a town called Hilliard, fl, plugged it into the google maps and began driving.
Within minutes, we were driving on a pitch black road with not a single car in front or behind us. However-the iPhone said we were right. That's when we decided Steve jobs was pranking us. And then immense fog took over the road. That was obviously Steve jobs' ghost. After about 50 miles, we'd found civilization!! Lights! Buildings!! Then we approached. It was this:
And so, we continue on into the dark abysses. Now on Okeefenokee Parkways. We'll keep the knife that was a gift from the Gartenbergs close.
UPDATE: Hilliard, FL was due west about 45 mins of where we actually wanted to be. Thanks Dave.
- Posted by the Keys Master.
Within minutes, we were driving on a pitch black road with not a single car in front or behind us. However-the iPhone said we were right. That's when we decided Steve jobs was pranking us. And then immense fog took over the road. That was obviously Steve jobs' ghost. After about 50 miles, we'd found civilization!! Lights! Buildings!! Then we approached. It was this:
And so, we continue on into the dark abysses. Now on Okeefenokee Parkways. We'll keep the knife that was a gift from the Gartenbergs close.
UPDATE: Hilliard, FL was due west about 45 mins of where we actually wanted to be. Thanks Dave.
- Posted by the Keys Master.
Location:U.S. 1,Hilliard,United States
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Road Trip Google Searches-Volume 1
Dave and I have decided to start a recurring segment on our blog titled Road Trip Google Searches. Here we will chronicle the most obscene/hilarious/bizarre/ridiculous/typical things we find ourselves googling during the hours upon hours of driving. Enjoy volume 1!
- Posted by the Keys Master.
- Posted by the Keys Master.
Location:Jackson,United States
Leaving DC
Heading out of DC and driving as far as we can make it...goal: Savannah, GA. Likelihood: Not at all. Stayed at Palace de BroGart, ate at an ihop and saw some orangutans go at it in the zoo. Plus, an awesome but brief visit with Matt! Driving begins now...
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Location:Washington,United States
Symmetry
First road trip I took, we departed at about 9:30 after I took my last final of freshman year at rutgers and drove for the next 40 hours straight to get to Yellowstone. That was aggressive and stupid, but I was only 19, so it's acceptable.
I'm glad that at 29 I'm still capable of the same shenanganness. Although exhausted, still managed to stick to the road trip haminated itinerary and make it to Humphrey Brogart's apartment in fairfax, VA. That's about 250 miles and 4.5 hours of late night solo driving. Go me. Steph contributed nothing (except mirth and blog posts and music and navigation).
- Posted By Gartagnon
Location:Rocky Branch Rd,Vienna,United States
Better Late Than Never
We may be 4-6 hrs behind schedule, but we're en route! NJ doesn't smell bad AT ALL (that's a lie it reeks).
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Friday, December 16, 2011
Today's The Day!
Today is the day we begin GART 2011: To The 'Glades. As such, we feel ready to share our itinerary in it's full glory with you. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll turn green with jealousy. ENJOY!!!
Don't forget to check back over the week with more updates, photos and hopefully no news of missing limbs.
**Don't forget to click the images for larger versions**
Don't forget to check back over the week with more updates, photos and hopefully no news of missing limbs.
**Don't forget to click the images for larger versions**
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Friday, December 9, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
New Sleeping Bag Alert
CAN'T WAIT to camp in the Everglades in this HAM s-bag. Photos in use to follow.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Subtlety
me: can i tell you a secret
Stephanie: duh
1:08 PM me: i think i'm going to force you to sleep on a beach without a tent after doing a big hike
Stephanie: interesting
since thats not a secret
cuz you asked me if i would
and i said yes
1:09 PM and you responded "youre the hammest chic i know"
me: i know
the whole "secret" thing was a fraud just so i could talk about it again
1:10 PM Stephanie: hahahahaha
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
For Lapsed Obama-fans
Sorry road trip readers, I'm reverting to politics for a quick 'mo. Just read this story about a mom whose family was hit hard by the recession, lost her health insurance, and then got diagnosed with cancer. It's sad and powerful. [from Kevin Drum]
Money quote:
Money quote:
Fortunately for me, I've been saved by the federal government's Pre-existing Condition Insurance Plan, something I had never heard of before needing it. It's part of President Obama's healthcare plan, one of the things that has already kicked in, and it guarantees access to insurance for U.S. citizens with preexisting conditions who have been uninsured for at least six months.....Which brings me to my apology. I was pretty mad at Obama before I learned about this new insurance plan. I had changed my registration from Democrat to Independent, and I had blacked out the top of the "h" on my Obama bumper sticker, so that it read, "Got nope" instead of "got hope." Ifelt like he had let down the struggling middle class. My son and I had campaigned for him, but since he took office, we felt he had let us down.
So this is my public apology. I'm sorry I didn't do enough of my own research to find out what promises the president has made good on. I'm sorry I didn't realize that he really has stood up for me and my family, and for so many others like us. I'm getting a new bumper sticker to cover the one that says "Got nope." It will say "ObamaCares."
Creepy Ways to Prepare For a Trip
Dave: yesterday i turned off all the lights in my apt and put my headlamp on and made myself a cocktail
Dave: this happened
Dave: this literally happened.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Road Trip to the Everglades Itinerary
Blog's back! New and improved (i.e., less political yammering, more stupid travel banter).
Situation: Stephanie and I take our second road trip together. A lot has changed since our last trip - for example, it is now the year 2011, whereas before, it was the year 2009. Also, Stephanie has now become a seasoned road trip/hiking pro (except for the fact that she still doesn't know how to drive...ugh). Uh...that's all that's changed basically. Anyway, we leave on Friday, December 16, which is soon. How does this make us feel?
Exactly.
Here are the highlights:
1) Washington DC - tour of the Capital, Natural History Museum, National Zoo
2) Drive to Savannah, eat fatty bbq food
3) See a ghost in Savannah
4) Drive to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, buy wands
5) Highlands Hammock State Park - it's cool. Camp.
6) Airboat Swamp Tour - See gators, then eat gators
7) Everglades - massive hikes and canoe rides through croc-infested waters, avoid being eaten, maybesacrifice Steph to save self flee gators successfully
8) Drive through Florida Keys
9) Go H.A.M. in Miami, avoid being serial murdered
Situation: Stephanie and I take our second road trip together. A lot has changed since our last trip - for example, it is now the year 2011, whereas before, it was the year 2009. Also, Stephanie has now become a seasoned road trip/hiking pro (except for the fact that she still doesn't know how to drive...ugh). Uh...that's all that's changed basically. Anyway, we leave on Friday, December 16, which is soon. How does this make us feel?
Here are the highlights:
1) Washington DC - tour of the Capital, Natural History Museum, National Zoo
2) Drive to Savannah, eat fatty bbq food
3) See a ghost in Savannah
4) Drive to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, buy wands
5) Highlands Hammock State Park - it's cool. Camp.
6) Airboat Swamp Tour - See gators, then eat gators
7) Everglades - massive hikes and canoe rides through croc-infested waters, avoid being eaten, maybe
8) Drive through Florida Keys
9) Go H.A.M. in Miami, avoid being serial murdered
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