Day 2: Logistical Hurdles, Wats and Prostitutes

I feel like Sarah Koenig, seeding hints of what's to come in past blog posts. Previously, on GartThai, "we encountered some logistical challenges." 

Said challenges: the plan was to on Tuesday do a (prepaid, non refundable) boat and bike tour to the former capital of Thailand, Ayutthaya, followed by an overnight train to Chiang Mai in the north. 

Stock photo because we aren't making it to Ayutthaya. We learned on Monday morning after Slumdog Walkionaire that the train was SOLD OUT, despite what Google had told me ahead of time. This led to a major quandary: we had no way to get to Chiang Mai, and we're already kind of over Bangkok. 

After being legit kidnapped by a tuktuk driver, we wound up in a semi-sketchy travel agency (everything is semi-sketchy in Bangkok), and met with a fellow who advised us that we could book a flight--through him. We did--and paid in cash, received a one page fax, and departed. Wise Erica then commented that the whole transaction could have been a scam. 

Hmmmmm. 

Anyway. We had Wats (temples) go visit so we put that to the back of our minds. 

Oh wait! First we saw a pair of giant water monitors swimming in the feces canal!

That was cool. They were like 5 feet long. 

Anyway, the first Wat we went to was called Wat Arun or the Temple of Dawn. That's the one Erica is pointing to above. It was super cool and we climbed to the top of it. 

That's me and a fat golden Buddha, in case you couldn't tell. 

Next, we took a longtail boat across the river, and headed to the Grand Palace, where the King used to live. The Thais loooove their King, and there are pictures of him everywhere. 

You can be arrested for badmouthing him. Does that extend to online posts? Or blogs? Should I test it?

I guess not. 

The Grand Palace was cool but a total zoo 

Maybe the best part of it was that I had to rent pants to show respect!

Next, we walked down the backpacking Mecca of Khao San road and had a Thai massage. 

Afterwards, we had a beer and saw a really drunk drug addict and a really old Thai prostitute doing their eternal dance of groping and bleeding all over the floor from random gashes. The prostie almost picked a fight with Erica, but we begged off. 

We then returned home and promptly fell asleep, and slept through our dinner reservations. I had to be up for an 11pm work call, which I rocked, and then we had dinner at the Rolling bar up the street. 

Lastly, here is a crazy sign. I feel like CJ Capuzzi will appreciate it. 

Did Dave and Erica ever get out of Bangkok? Tune in next blog post. Boop boop boop boop [serial music]. 

Meat Market

A lot of you have been asking for some video evidence of those infamous slum meat markets. Ask and ye shall receive. 

http://youtu.be/vJ309ax-4XM

Slumdog Walkionaire

Good title. Erica felt less lagged this morning, so after a wholesome breakfast at our hotel, we went for a walk around the block. 

And what a walk it was! I semi knew this from a pretrip Google Street view, but our hotel --while centrally located and pretty nice --is legit in the slums. Fortunately, slums are cool. (like bowties #doctorwhoreference #onlyhumphreybrogartgotthat). 

For example, here is one of dozens of abandoned cars parked along the street. 

And here is a street market, where the locals peddle their wares. (I feel like the only thing you can in good faith peddle is wares). 

Said wares include chicken heads. 

There were some random shrines. 

And even a chess board, not including chess pieces. 

And a caged bird who did not know how to sing (I do not know why). 

Eventually, we looped back to our block and walked along the feces canal, where we met some chickens and even a caged bunny. 

Some of you may be shocked to hear this but Erica was really into the slums. Not in a poverty tourism kind of way, more just curious about the lifestyle, so we continued further to some new slums! This time, we came upon an open air butcher market, which smelled great. 

Fortunately, our patron saint, the Mouse of Mickey, watched over us and kept us safe. 

Later, we encountered some logistical challenges. 

Day 1: Jetlag

Taking a 24+hour flight is known to risk jetlag. Thus, I have actually already slept tonight: we fell asleep at 9pm Bangkok time (9am NYC time), and now I can't sleep (at 2am). Thus, I wander to a bar:

Erica has it worse. She crashed midway through dinner and is in a coma now (a figurative coma, parents, don't worry). 

Our first day in Bangkok was pretty cool. The thing about Bangkok -- which everyone we know who've been and all the guidebooks say -- is that it's kind of a shithole. And it is! For instance, our hotel, Lamphu Tree, sounds nice on paper: it's along a canal, has a pool, etc. But the fact is the canal smells like feces, so that actually is not a good selling point. Here it is. 

It's also surrounded by what I like to call "abject poverty." But that's ok; at least there is a friendly cat. 

After arriving, we took a ferry tour of the City. It actually was more water taxi than tour  (we missed the tour boat by a minute), but was still cool. The river, Chao  Phraya, is the heart of Bangkok--a polluted, smelly, but still scenic organ. 

After dinner we walked to this fancyass hotel for dinner. 

(above, Erica, 5 seconds before falling asleep in her nan). 

Dinner was good (but that's where Erica crashed), but the walk to dinner was even cooler...because we walked through a bunch of open air fish markets that sold such illumaries as catfish, lampreys, crabs, prawns, snails, and other grotesques--all stored in very confined quarters:

Well, that's about it for day one! I got kicked out of the bar, because apparently even in Bangkok bars close at 2am, and made it back to the hotel safe and unmugged. Tomorrow we will go to temples. 

Taxi Cab Confessions ;)

We made it to Bangkok! Flight wasn't even that bad. We are now in a cab with an English-challenged cab driver heading to Lamphu Tree House, our first hotel. Thailand is so far pretty cool. 

Blogging about Thailand

The last time I actually successfully blogged a trip was last time I was  in Southeast Asia ("SEA"), long before I even knew how to use parentheticals with aplomb. A lot has changed! I started working, lost 20 lbs, started dating Erica, quit my job, went to the Galapagos, went to some other places, gained 20 lbs, and got engaged (last week) to Erica.

Now we are spending two weeks in Thailand where we hope to visit temples (without offending the monks), befriend elephants (without making the acquaintance of leeches) and eat delicious local cuisine (without contacting local food borne illnesses). 

Hopefully, unlike my trips of the past few years, I will do a better job of documenting the happenings. To that end:

We departed NYC on Friday night at midnight en route to Taiwan for a layover en route to Bangkok. We skipped all of Saturday--when we landed, it was Sunday morning. 

The Taiwan airport is pretty cool. There are kitties everywhere:

And things are just generally pretty Asian:

I'll tell you about the relaxation zones later. Gotta board now!

The Skinny

Dear friends and colleagues,

That's how I started my farewell to FF email; but it's also how I'm starting my welcome back to blogging post.  A lot has changed since we last spoke.  For one, I use semicolons now.  Be prepared, grammarphiles.  For another, I quit my GD job, got a new GD job, and bought tickets to go to the Ecuador and the Galapagos (aka, for purposes of this blog, alternatively the Gartlapagos or Galapagart) with Erica.   Be prepared.

Here's the skinny:
1) Mindo Cloud Forest (Wednesday - Thursday).  We're staying in this ecolodge right in the forest.  What is an ecolodge?  A cool lodge with hammocks.  Basically a jungle South American log cabin. Abrahamo Lincolno would be pleased. We'll mainly see birds, such as tanagers, quetzals, toucans, hummingbirds. I know what about half of those birds are. There are also Andean bears somewhere, but they're not generally seen in Mindo - that is, they haven't historically been spotted there, but I have faith that they'll come check me out.

2) Quito (Friday - Saturday). Quito is the highest capital city in the world, at 9000+ feet. It's also literally built on a volcano. Nuff said.

3) Galapagart Cruise (Saturday - Saturday). Darwin invented evolution at Gartlapagos, and Rick Santorum has been mad at him ever since. There will be plenty of pics and dialogue to share re: these special islands in no time at all, so I'm not gonna spoil it with excessive detail. Needless to say, I plan on being arrested for stealing tortoise eggs and/or trying to hug a sea lion.

And now, for your viewing pleasure, a blue footed booby: